Aimless chatter,
phlegmatic conversations,
purple prose,
cacophonous laughter,
mindless voices,
pierce the mind.
I wander away,
Neither here, nor there
A vacant smile,
A nod sometimes,
Mostly, a vacant stare
I don’t belong, quite evidently
And suddenly,
Everything becomes an effort
Even the smiles.
And then, i am pulled back
To mundane chores
Ah! But mundaneness does allow
Me to slip away once more.
The mind slips into listlessness,
Neither here nor there
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
desire (diamonte)
Fire
Sparkles, hot,
Igniting, searing, devouring,
Desire, love. Dampened beads,
Drowning, quenching, appeasing,
Divine thirst...
Water.
(diamonte is a kind of formed poetry:
one word
two adjectives describing first word
three words (ing words) describing the subject
two words describing subject; two words describing the opposite
three words (ing) describing the opposite
two adjectives describing the opposite
opposite word
Sparkles, hot,
Igniting, searing, devouring,
Desire, love. Dampened beads,
Drowning, quenching, appeasing,
Divine thirst...
Water.
(diamonte is a kind of formed poetry:
one word
two adjectives describing first word
three words (ing words) describing the subject
two words describing subject; two words describing the opposite
three words (ing) describing the opposite
two adjectives describing the opposite
opposite word
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
soul, sold
Some time ago,
I don’t recall,
Was it summer, was it fall?
When I sold joy for melancholy,
For its frown, its sadness
Held new appeal
I bought tears for laughter
Lost the twinkle in my eye
and my smiles
It seemed inappropriate
To stay happy amidst the cries
that I saw the world to be
I gave my hopes away,
To traders and merchants
who stocked happiness
in their stores,
And gifted my dreams,
To the poor beings on the streets
I gladly sold the trivial joys
Of watching the sunrise,
and chocolate bars,
To a place on the couch.
I sought darkness
Instead of light,
and loneliness for gaiety
And when love rattled at my door,
My soul was empty,
I could never see, the clouds part,
For by then my eyes were blind.
I could not feel the warmth in my womb,
For I was not me,
Anymore.
written on 20 march 2010. watching my father in law slowly slip away into another world. just 20 days before he died. felt that i was numbed by emotion - the pettiness of life - it hit me like never before
I don’t recall,
Was it summer, was it fall?
When I sold joy for melancholy,
For its frown, its sadness
Held new appeal
I bought tears for laughter
Lost the twinkle in my eye
and my smiles
It seemed inappropriate
To stay happy amidst the cries
that I saw the world to be
I gave my hopes away,
To traders and merchants
who stocked happiness
in their stores,
And gifted my dreams,
To the poor beings on the streets
I gladly sold the trivial joys
Of watching the sunrise,
and chocolate bars,
To a place on the couch.
I sought darkness
Instead of light,
and loneliness for gaiety
And when love rattled at my door,
My soul was empty,
I could never see, the clouds part,
For by then my eyes were blind.
I could not feel the warmth in my womb,
For I was not me,
Anymore.
written on 20 march 2010. watching my father in law slowly slip away into another world. just 20 days before he died. felt that i was numbed by emotion - the pettiness of life - it hit me like never before
the call
The unbearable weight of sorrow,
Wraps itself around
Muffled beats,
Lost amidst the silent cries
Of wanting to be freed
The child’s smile,
The loved one’s arms,
The sunrise,
The birds and flowers,
No beauty seems as appealing,
As that final call
Alas! Tucked beneath different layers,
She beats, resilient,
Every sound, a proclamation,
Of life that wills to live despite
That call
If the blinds were lifted just once,
If the layers that bind her so,
Drop their guard just once...
If she was allowed to see,
The farce called love, the lie called life,
She would agree
The futility of her being;
Her beating.
I wait that moment
To try to reveal
Only to be caught
Once more.
How long will I blind her
How long?
I wait.
In desperation.
Deprived of the one thing that will
Still
My yearning
written sometime in 2010
Wraps itself around
Muffled beats,
Lost amidst the silent cries
Of wanting to be freed
The child’s smile,
The loved one’s arms,
The sunrise,
The birds and flowers,
No beauty seems as appealing,
As that final call
Alas! Tucked beneath different layers,
She beats, resilient,
Every sound, a proclamation,
Of life that wills to live despite
That call
If the blinds were lifted just once,
If the layers that bind her so,
Drop their guard just once...
If she was allowed to see,
The farce called love, the lie called life,
She would agree
The futility of her being;
Her beating.
I wait that moment
To try to reveal
Only to be caught
Once more.
How long will I blind her
How long?
I wait.
In desperation.
Deprived of the one thing that will
Still
My yearning
written sometime in 2010
Saturday, March 5, 2011
beating, bleating
Sometimes, many times,
The heart stops, albeit, a moment,
At times,
Struck by the beauty of nothingness
Shocked at the bizarre mind of humanity,
At others,
And then, when it resumes its beat,
It’s no more the same,
For a while
With beauty, it flutters
Like a butterfly in happy abandon,
At the quirks that define humanity,
It sighs,
a mute spectator, to the mind’s whims,
It beats against the chest as though
its silent screams will be heard,
Alas! How little does it know,
It must listen to the master above,
Until its time.
It beats
Forever in hope that its relentless
Plea will prove its master
Worthy one day.
The heart stops, albeit, a moment,
At times,
Struck by the beauty of nothingness
Shocked at the bizarre mind of humanity,
At others,
And then, when it resumes its beat,
It’s no more the same,
For a while
With beauty, it flutters
Like a butterfly in happy abandon,
At the quirks that define humanity,
It sighs,
a mute spectator, to the mind’s whims,
It beats against the chest as though
its silent screams will be heard,
Alas! How little does it know,
It must listen to the master above,
Until its time.
It beats
Forever in hope that its relentless
Plea will prove its master
Worthy one day.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Blind eyes
My eyes close
The journey begins
Dark alleyways, drunken slobs,
Homeless children,
Hungry eyes,
Beaten mothers
Soundless cries.
I flee,
Take another path,
Only to see
Masked invaders
Raping fields,
Killing life,
Martyring death,
All with smiles
I run in fear,
To another door
A world of beauty,
Rose-cheeked children,
Food aplenty,
The warmth of the hearth,
The laughter of love
Here is where
I long to be
I open my eyes
Only to see
The alleys and fields
Come rushing at me,
I turn blind,
Yes, I'd rather be
For this is a world
I will not see.
written on 24 jan 2010. it was becoming unbearable to see my father in law in comatose. it became clear that he would soon be gone.
The journey begins
Dark alleyways, drunken slobs,
Homeless children,
Hungry eyes,
Beaten mothers
Soundless cries.
I flee,
Take another path,
Only to see
Masked invaders
Raping fields,
Killing life,
Martyring death,
All with smiles
I run in fear,
To another door
A world of beauty,
Rose-cheeked children,
Food aplenty,
The warmth of the hearth,
The laughter of love
Here is where
I long to be
I open my eyes
Only to see
The alleys and fields
Come rushing at me,
I turn blind,
Yes, I'd rather be
For this is a world
I will not see.
written on 24 jan 2010. it was becoming unbearable to see my father in law in comatose. it became clear that he would soon be gone.
...just passed me by
Life just passed me by;
As I lay asleep, my mind wandering,
Meandering aimlessly; clutching
The seams of elusive dreams
Life just passed me by;
As I lay repenting, my mind doing,
Undoing wrongs, repenting deeds
Left undone in haste; of words misplaced
Life just passed me by;
As I lay crying, my mind emptying,
Erasing traces of a broken heart
Mending its patches; finding no matches
Life just passed me by;
As I lay warped in the world of my mind;
Blind to the beauties that lay before me
Clouded by fantasy; until I was left behind
With reality. Harsh reality.
written sometime in 2006
As I lay asleep, my mind wandering,
Meandering aimlessly; clutching
The seams of elusive dreams
Life just passed me by;
As I lay repenting, my mind doing,
Undoing wrongs, repenting deeds
Left undone in haste; of words misplaced
Life just passed me by;
As I lay crying, my mind emptying,
Erasing traces of a broken heart
Mending its patches; finding no matches
Life just passed me by;
As I lay warped in the world of my mind;
Blind to the beauties that lay before me
Clouded by fantasy; until I was left behind
With reality. Harsh reality.
written sometime in 2006
Midas Touch
Does humanity hear the Gods cry?
Listen then,
For They shed tears
Each time we dam those rivers
Fell a tree, slay an animal,
Plunder the soil
They weep
Each time we send up clouds of grey
In the name of civilisation
And yet
We move on,
Pretending the Gods are happy
Watching us play Their role
Ignoring Their plea to be heard
Just once
We wage war
Because we need to fuel material dreams
We kill with passion
So we may brew more heady concoctions of power
And in time, how rich we shall grow!
With each tamed river, we'll find more gold
With more species gone, we'll expand our empire
Until one day, we'll wake to find
We have been blessed with the Midas Touch
Gold will fill our coffers, our hearths and our beds
It will turn our fields to money and rivers to jewels
We will never stop
Until one day
Our children cry for food and water
But no God will listen
For we would have killed Them all
written sometime in 2009
Listen then,
For They shed tears
Each time we dam those rivers
Fell a tree, slay an animal,
Plunder the soil
They weep
Each time we send up clouds of grey
In the name of civilisation
And yet
We move on,
Pretending the Gods are happy
Watching us play Their role
Ignoring Their plea to be heard
Just once
We wage war
Because we need to fuel material dreams
We kill with passion
So we may brew more heady concoctions of power
And in time, how rich we shall grow!
With each tamed river, we'll find more gold
With more species gone, we'll expand our empire
Until one day, we'll wake to find
We have been blessed with the Midas Touch
Gold will fill our coffers, our hearths and our beds
It will turn our fields to money and rivers to jewels
We will never stop
Until one day
Our children cry for food and water
But no God will listen
For we would have killed Them all
written sometime in 2009
biography of a homeless soul
Shattered by the winds of abuse
Scarred by words that will forever remain
Entrenched in every vein, uprooted crude
From the warm embrace of maternity;
Abandoned by humanity, belittled by mankind,
Alone he stands; devoid of heart and home.
With each blow, he sows new seeds of hate,
Brews it hot with petty crimes and rage
Plunders wallets not for the hot refreshing
Pot of tea that those pennies will fetch;
But in fervent hope that he might feel warmth
Of the human cult to which he once belonged.
His appearance frightens both dog and child,
Huddled forms breeze past, smirking at his lying form,
Humanity travels on, lost; cocooned in a surreal world
That eludes its purpose, leading it to believe
That if it stops beside this demeaned soul,
Life will pass it by; so will its riches and gold.
He continues to scrounge the streets,
In search of a home, a kind deed or word;
Begs for alms, kills for a warm jacket
Steals to appease the constant hunger pangs
Until he is numbed with pain, cold and thirst
He succumbs to the world where his agonies are set free.
Snow falls fast, flaking his mangled remains,
Vermin claw at gaping holes that wounds reveal
Until he dangles between consciousness and death
His mortal code is soon ripped away, buried deep
In some unknown grave where he rests in peace;
Undisturbed by the hurried pace of men and women
Who never chanced to lay their eyes on this man.
His place in the street is soon taken away
By another starved soul that humanity longs to forget. Everyday.
Scarred by words that will forever remain
Entrenched in every vein, uprooted crude
From the warm embrace of maternity;
Abandoned by humanity, belittled by mankind,
Alone he stands; devoid of heart and home.
With each blow, he sows new seeds of hate,
Brews it hot with petty crimes and rage
Plunders wallets not for the hot refreshing
Pot of tea that those pennies will fetch;
But in fervent hope that he might feel warmth
Of the human cult to which he once belonged.
His appearance frightens both dog and child,
Huddled forms breeze past, smirking at his lying form,
Humanity travels on, lost; cocooned in a surreal world
That eludes its purpose, leading it to believe
That if it stops beside this demeaned soul,
Life will pass it by; so will its riches and gold.
He continues to scrounge the streets,
In search of a home, a kind deed or word;
Begs for alms, kills for a warm jacket
Steals to appease the constant hunger pangs
Until he is numbed with pain, cold and thirst
He succumbs to the world where his agonies are set free.
Snow falls fast, flaking his mangled remains,
Vermin claw at gaping holes that wounds reveal
Until he dangles between consciousness and death
His mortal code is soon ripped away, buried deep
In some unknown grave where he rests in peace;
Undisturbed by the hurried pace of men and women
Who never chanced to lay their eyes on this man.
His place in the street is soon taken away
By another starved soul that humanity longs to forget. Everyday.
soul deep
Love me not for beauty and grace,
For they are but skin deep.
They will wrinkle with age,
And succumb to time.
Love me not for passion and desire,
For they see only as far as my eye.
They will grow misty with age,
And grow cold with time.
Love me not for my dreams and hopes,
For they grow only in the depths of my mind,
They will change with seasons and each passing year,
And may disappear over time.
Love me not for my smiles and tears
For they speak from voices deep inside
They will shrivel and dry one day,
And will be forgotten with time.
written on 26.2.2006
For they are but skin deep.
They will wrinkle with age,
And succumb to time.
Love me not for passion and desire,
For they see only as far as my eye.
They will grow misty with age,
And grow cold with time.
Love me not for my dreams and hopes,
For they grow only in the depths of my mind,
They will change with seasons and each passing year,
And may disappear over time.
Love me not for my smiles and tears
For they speak from voices deep inside
They will shrivel and dry one day,
And will be forgotten with time.
written on 26.2.2006
Resigned to Fate Series: Cries
A child she was,
Until nine
Laughter on her face,
A smile on her frame,
Until womanhood
Was thrust upon her.
In one frightful moment,
It was gone,
Innocence died and,
Rape was born
A swollen womb,
Crawled to life,
While swollen eyes
That once held tears,
Bore the cross
Of manic want,
In one brief moment,
It was gone,
Innocence died,
a bastard, born
Pointed fingers,
Hushed whispers,
No hands to help,
No kindness or warmth,
She cried with pain,
That numbed and seared,
Her last cry
Was the baby's first
He cried,
Her father and his
Alas! What cruelty,
When innocence dies
And incest is born.
Until nine
Laughter on her face,
A smile on her frame,
Until womanhood
Was thrust upon her.
In one frightful moment,
It was gone,
Innocence died and,
Rape was born
A swollen womb,
Crawled to life,
While swollen eyes
That once held tears,
Bore the cross
Of manic want,
In one brief moment,
It was gone,
Innocence died,
a bastard, born
Pointed fingers,
Hushed whispers,
No hands to help,
No kindness or warmth,
She cried with pain,
That numbed and seared,
Her last cry
Was the baby's first
He cried,
Her father and his
Alas! What cruelty,
When innocence dies
And incest is born.
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