soul, sold

Some time ago,
I don’t recall,
Was it summer, was it fall?
When I sold joy for melancholy,
For its frown, its sadness
Held new appeal

I bought tears for laughter
Lost the twinkle in my eye
and my smiles
It seemed inappropriate
To stay happy amidst the cries
that I saw the world to be

I gave my hopes away,
To traders and merchants
who stocked happiness
in their stores,
And gifted my dreams,
To the poor beings on the streets

I gladly sold the trivial joys
Of watching the sunrise,
and chocolate bars,
To a place on the couch.
I sought darkness
Instead of light,
and loneliness for gaiety

And when love rattled at my door,
My soul was empty,
I could never see, the clouds part,
For by then my eyes were blind.
I could not feel the warmth in my womb,
For I was not me,
Anymore.


written on 20 march 2010. watching my father in law slowly slip away into another world. just 20 days before he died. felt that i was numbed by emotion - the pettiness of life - it hit me like never before